It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
