capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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