Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
