So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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