fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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