Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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