I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
