I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
you're hired as official boob wrangler
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
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