As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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