We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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