dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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