brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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