i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
