some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
