If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
