Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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