Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
