I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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