toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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