you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
