no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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