Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
