It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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