it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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