I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
