just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
