Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You were trust falling into bushes
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
