in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
