Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
