I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
