does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
