I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
