i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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