i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This toilet bowl is my home.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
