I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
