She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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