I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
