Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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