Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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