am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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