Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
