I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
