so explain again why im purple
no
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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