I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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