Hey man sorry I got all grabby
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
