no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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