ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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