Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
