Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
