Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
